I’m testing the blog to see if it works. If it does, I’m hoping to start writing again a little bit🙂 if not, I’ll have to decide if I want to start from scratch.
I was recently contacted about reviewing Cocozia’s newest product–Chocolate Coconut Water–and I happily agreed!!
I have to admit, I was not sold on chocolate coconut water. I thought it would be like watered down chocolate, but it was actually quite good! It tasted a bit like a really light chocolate milk🙂
I made a delicious smoothie with it that tasted more like dessert than anything else, but I kid you not it was chock full of protein and healthy fats!
Cocozia Chocolate PBB Smoothie
– 1 container of Chocolate Cocozia
– 1 frozen banana
– 2 tbsp White Chocolate Wonderful Peanut Butter
– 2 scoops Chocolate Progenex Protein Powder
– a handful of ice
This was a great post workout supplement and DELICIOUS!!
So, let me preface this by saying that this birth story is being written from the VERY BEGINNING, to include my journey towards understanding my body and womankind in general, all the way through labor and delivery. I am writing all of this out because I want a place to come back and reflect should I experience these struggles again and I also think that this topic is something that a lot of women experience but don’t actually talk about. I think it is SO IMPORTANT to talk about these issues and to help women understand that we are all different but all of our bodies WORK. In my journey to get pregnant my biggest fear was that my body was BROKEN, that I couldn’t have babies and that I spent my whole life trying NOT to get pregnant so when the time came to actually get pregnant the ultimate irony would be that I was incapable of doing it. I also want to state that I won’t be gory, but the details from this point forward may be graphic for some, so YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!
About 2 years ago, I was taking the pill like most young women in America, and I noticed that I was no longer able to have a cycle. I gave it one more month before I tossed in the towel and sure enough, no cycle in January 2013 either. I decided to go off of the pill to see if that was the problem and I was still unable to have a cycle off the pill. I began to get really worried…where was it!?! Normally, you miss a pill and your cycle shows the next day, here I was 3 months and nothing. I began investigating…
After countless tests at the doctor’s office, I decided to take things into my own hands. I knew that my body was out of its normal equilibrium and started reading a book called WomanCode to try to bring my body back to its normal stasis. I also started doing something called seed cycling to bring my 60 day cycles down to a normal range of days. My cycles went from 60 to 45 to 31 days on the seed cycling protocol! I couldn’t believe it! My strategic eating and nutrition supplementation was working and my body was responding accordingly. After my 31 day cycle, I expected to have a 28 day cycle next because this was the optimal cycle length that seed cycling was striving for. I tracked my ovulation the entire time and day 14 came and went with no ovulation, so did days 15, 16, 17…25, 26, 27, 28…you get the picture. I was devastated. What the heck was going on?! And when day 31 came and went and no cycle, I lost my mind. I was going to do a full on hormone cleansing diet after my cycle showed because there had to be an answer for our struggles to get pregnant. We had been trying for 6 months at this point (although we only had 3 chances because I was having 60 day cycles), and no luck. Then, one night (around day 48) I had a dream that I got a positive pregnancy test. The next day, I figured I would take one (it had been a while…why not?) but expected it to be blank like all of the other hundreds of tests I had taken🙂 But it wasn’t…and that is the beginning of Finley James’ journey into our loving arms.
My pregnancy was very uneventful and in all reality, very easy. I know I was lucky to have mild discomfort during the 1st trimester (I called it the HCG hangover…I really just felt mildly hungover for about a month), no problems with our baby’s development in utero, and no other aches and pains. I was able to work out up until about 2 days prior to my delivery and I was so thankful for that. The only thing I wish I had known in hindsight was to just allow myself to be blissfully happy. I was so afraid to allow myself to be happy for the fear of discovering something terrible during an ultrasound or blood test or whatever. I wish I could have just allowed myself to be a bit more carefree. I finally got to this point around week 30-32…I knew everything was going to be just fine and I just needed to relax and enjoy what was left of being pregnant.
So, back to the deets. I was 41 weeks and 3 days when I went in for my second NST and everything was great; however, my fluid was cloudy and I was only dilated 1 cm, 60% effaced and the baby was at -2 station. He was also still posterior. I decided to allow my midwife to strip my membranes and then spent the next 48 hours doing spinning babies exercises to try to get him to flip anterior. I started having contractions about every 5-7 min (mild ones, but real ones!) and they lasted about 1-1.5 minutes. This started about 24 hours after the membrane stripping and kept persisting through my next NST. On Wednesday, I was pretty disheartened that Finley hadn’t arrived yet because I was up against the clock and feeling pressure from my midwife to induce via Foley Bulb on Thursday night. I was an emotional wreck trying to decide how to proceed…did I allow them to induce me? Did I hold out until baby decided to arrive? I had my second NST at 41 weeks and 5 days and the medical team became slightly concerned. Finley was getting “excited” enough for them. He needed to elevate his heart rate by 15 bpm over his baseline heart rate and sustain that elevated heart rate for 15 seconds, but he was only holding it for 10 seconds. This meant he FAILED the NST. This really made me angry because I didn’t understand what that 5 seconds he wasn’t sustaining for meant and didn’t feel that I got a good medically founded explanation. After that, we did a Biophysical Profile and everything looked great (fluid levels, etc), but my midwife still felt we should induce Thursday night. I had her strip my membranes again and left sobbing, totally torn about what to do.
That day, I continued to feel the normal contractions and they were definitely more noticeable, but I was so distraught that I just kept ignoring them. Hubby suggested super spicy Thai food for lunch, so he picked some home and came home from work to eat with me. We also watched some funny videos to try and lift my spirits…this one was my favorite🙂 My friend Andrea also asked us to come over to dinner at her house so we could unwind, hang in the presence of great friends and company, and eat delicious food. Before that I had my one final ditch effort at going into labor: acupuncture. I went and saw the acupuncturist (if you live in Dayton and are pregnant and up against an induction, GO SEE HER!!! She has a 48 hr guarantee of sending you into labor :-)). Because of my tight deadline (induction within 24 hrs) she amped up my session and gave me STEM treatment along with some pressure points for turning the baby. I had contractions during the procedure like I expected but didn’t feel all that different afterwards. I did not have high hopes that anything I had been doing thus far would work. We went and hung out with Andrea and her husband, had lots of laughs, delicious food and a glass of wine to help me unwind. It was the perfect “last supper” although I didn’t know it at the time!
We called our Bradley Instructor on the way home to talk about options for delaying induction and felt really confident about postponing the induction if we had to deal with that the next day. I went to bed at 11:30 PM and still felt the exact same. If I only knew I would be waking up at 12:30 AM in labor, I would have gone to bed earlier!
I woke up at 12:30 AM with the most insane urge to go to the bathroom. I actually thought that I had been poisoned by Andrea😉 (we talked about putting Castor Oil in the food to help speed things up!) or that I had the flu or something. I went to the bathroom and back to bed, only to feel the urge to go to the bathroom again about 2 minutes later. After 3 trips to the toilet, I noticed that these trips were all about 2 minutes apart and that I was moaning…not normal for me. It was at this moment that I figured I should start timing my bathroom trips. Sure enough, the moaning was about 1-1.5 minutes long and occurred about every 2-3 minutes. These were contractions?? They were nothing like I expected, although I knew I was still in the early stages of labor. I was experiencing my BIG clear out. The other thing I did not expect in labor was my body’s desire to clear EVERYTHING out…cue: incessant vomiting. It truly felt like I had gotten a really bad stomach bug! I woke Hubby to tell him I thought I was in labor and he told me to lay down and rest if I could. I told him I had to move through contractions and they were really close so I didn’t think I could rest. He called my doula and she suggested a bath, so he drew one for me and I was able to catch a few minutes of shut eye in there. I had to get out after about 10 minutes because I was shivering uncontrollably (something that also continued throughout labor!). It was at this point that I knew this was for real and that we should finish packing our hospital bags. I left out things like underwear and coming home outfits because I didn’t know what would fit or what the weather would be like…it was great because it gave me a task to focus on!
Hubby called my doula at 2:30 AM and told her we wanted her to come join us in laboring at home because things were getting a bit more heavy. I had started vomiting and was having back labor at this point and we could use the extra set of hands! She showed up around 3:30 AM, walked straight into the house and began working her magic immediately. For any of you in Dayton that are in search of a doula, get with me for her contact information…she is out of this world amazing! She proceeded to apply counter-pressure and massage my back to combat the back labor I was having for the next 12 HOURS of labor. Hubby and I were SO thankful that she was there.
I decided I wanted to leave for the hospital no later than 6:30 AM to avoid rush hour traffic, and I’m so happy we left when we did. I felt much more secure once we got to the hospital and the labor tub they had for me was amazing…way better than what I had set up at home! I had about 3-4 contractions in the car on the way to the hospital and thought they would be terrible, but they were actually not bad at all. I just kept moaning low and keeping my whole body as limp as I could. My doula rubbed my knee to comfort me through them as she drove. The contractions REALLY intensified when we got to the hospital and I had about 6-7 on the way from the car to the Labor and Delivery Ward. I was insistent on walking the whole way and CLIMBING THE STAIRS!! I thought it would for sure help the baby drop and he sure did! He was at zero station, almost +1, and I was dilated to 6 cm, 90% effaced.
The worst part of the entire labor process was the fact that I had to stay still for an NST when I got to the hospital. They needed a 20 minute read and I was NOT comfortable staying still. Eventually, they realized this wasn’t going to happen, so they gave me a mobile monitor and things got much better. Most of the NST was taken as I sat on the toilet😉 I also didn’t want an IV, but since I had been puking so much, I figured this would be a good thing. I got a few syringe fulls of saline (to allow me to stay mobile) and some Zofran to combat the nausea…that didn’t work all that well, but luckily my stomach was empty
Once the NST was done, I was allowed to get in the labor tub and OH MY GOODNESS was that divine. Unfortunately, I was so comfortable in the tub, that my labor stalled…for 5 hours. My midwife had me get out of the tub and move around, doing exercises through the contractions (not fun) and then when I still hadn’t gotten past 7 cm, she announced she thought we should break my water. I quickly agreed…although to begin with I didn’t want this to happen because it was an intervention, but after 12 hours of labor I was definitely OK with this intervention.
This got very intense after my water broke, but I still felt I could handle them until about an hour before I made it to 10cm. I never actually though, “I need an epidural!!”, but I did start to lose control during the contractions. I was reminded to keep my moans low and to stay loose. I said a few times, “I don’t think I can do this!!” “I think I’m dying!!” and this quickly alerted me that I was going through transition. I knew I was close to the end and my birth support team reminded me of that too.
Before I knew it, I was at 10cm and cleared to push. I thought I would LOVE pushing, but I actually found it really frustrating. I was mentally berating myself about how terrible I was at pushing because I had such a tough time getting his head out! Little did I know that I was naturally birthing a 10 lb baby. After 40 minutes of pushing, my midwife announced that I needed to get the head out on the next push because they couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat (he was really low in my pelvis), so I pushed with all my might and definitely felt the ring of fire. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and I think it is because I had been stretching for the last 40 minutes. When Finley’s head was finally out, I looked down and thought I had pushed out his whole body (his head was THAT BIG), but then my midwife said, “one more push and you’ll have his body out!”. I barely pushed, in fact I think I could have sneezed, and there he was! A BIG warm squishy baby right on my chest…I was in awe, and Hubby teared up looking at his new baby boy. The first thing I asked, “Does he have all 10 fingers and toes!?!?!”
My birth experience was so so amazing. I actually told my husband I didn’t think we could top it ever again (although I hope we can!). My husband was amazing and so sweet during all of it, my doula was fantastic and so crucial to the whole production…I love her dearly!! My midwife, oh my midwife, how I loved her. Any military members or dependent wives that are delivering at Wright Patterson AFB, Jane Vesel is your key to an amazing birth experience. If you want to go naturally, she will be there to support you and I felt that I couldn’t have done it without her. Despite how long this narrative is, I actually skimmed over quite a few details (I need to go feed my baby!!), so if there is anything else you have more questions on, feel free to contact me with them.
Bottom line though: I have never been more amazed with my body before or proud to be a woman. My body DOES work and I can grow a baby, naturally deliver a baby, and feed that baby all with my body (just like Jim Gaffigan says). I want to apologize to my body for always thinking that it wasn’t good enough, or skinny enough, or strong enough. I now know that I am good enough and my body is amazing. I couldn’t be more proud to be me🙂 I hope that every woman that wants to have a baby is able to have this experience too because it is the most empowering experience in existence! Girl power!
How many of you have been searching for clean burning and chemical free candles? I know I have! So when Old Factory Candles contacted me about reviewing their clean burning soy candles I was ecstatic! Just what I needed to escort me into the beautiful fall and winter holidays.
The candles come in a themed set of 3. You can buy them on Amazon and if you’re a Prime member, they are a great quick gift for the holidays! Free shipping and arrival in 2 days, not bad eh?😉
I thought the packaging was cute and the candle size is also really nice. They are petite but are promised to burn for 20 hours total per candle with the scent intact the whole time🙂 I hate when the scent leaves after the first burn!
I chose the Fall Harvest Collection. I felt it would be perfect for this cool Fall weather we were experiencing! The scents are all very rich yet subtle. But seriously, check out all of these scents!! Some of them are a little risque😉
Fresh & Clean
High as a Kite
Bag O’ Cookies
New Born Baby
I knew exactly what I would do to break these candles in! A luxurious bubble bath🙂
The candles burned brightly and were really delightful smelling. Their smoke was clean and it was really nice to know I wasn’t burning a bunch of toxins into the air the baby and I were breathing! Because I couldn’t find exactly what ingredients were in the candles, I emailed the company rep and here is the answer I got: “Our candles are free from parabens and phthalates, which is very rare in the world of scented candles. We pay more for our fragrances and work with a fragrance company to produce a line of pure fragrances that combine with our natural wax to make the purest-burning candle possible.”
Woohoo! I will definitely buy Old Factory Candles again in the future, maybe even for gifts for a lucky few at Christmas😉
What do you look for when buying candles? Is it only about the scent? Or is it also about the ingredients?
Well well well, here we are at 41 weeks pregnant and 1 day🙂 I’m not going to lie, this is so surreal. I mean, I knew that I was pregnant, and I knew that I would most likely blow past my “due date”, but never did I really imagine myself sitting here, typing this at this point in my life!
All in all, I feel very lucky that I had such a wonderful pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong, it was full of ups and downs, but I’ve ultimately reached a point of such peace with my body and this process and my baby that I am completely happy where I am, sitting here and typing all of this out🙂
For all the pregnant women out there, let me just give you a few of the things that I’ve learned along the way. For those who have been there and done that, you’ll have to let me know if you agree with any of the things I’ve said here:
1. If you decide you want to get genetic screening, be prepared for the possibility of an emotional roller coaster.
— Although I don’t regret choosing to get the genetic screening options that we did, in the heat of the moment, I COULD NOT handle it. We were told at week 20 that our baby had a choroid plexus cyst (CPC) on his brain and that this was a common marker for genetic issues like Trisomy 18 and 21. Learning this in combination with all of the raging hormones and the “fear of finding something terrible” was something I couldn’t handle. It turned out that everything was just fine, but in the moment, I couldn’t see past the fear of this discovery. So lesson learned: remain objective about everything you learn during pregnancy and TRUST THE STATISTICS!!
2. Ultrasounds are both joyous and stressful…especially if you act like I did in the above.
— Every ultrasound, I started out completely breathtaken with the awe of seeing my sweet baby on the screen in front of me. “It is a baby!! I knew it!!” would race through my mind and then about halfway through, I found myself completely struck with panic. “What if they find something? Then what?” At our 28 week ultrasound we were checking to make sure that the CPC was gone and the ultrasound tech (someone very young and inexperienced) commented, “WOW, your baby’s head is REALLY big.” Our baby’s head was measuring 4 weeks ahead of where it should be, yet still within the normal percentiles. So, there really was nothing to worry about, but of course my mind began racing “Is there something wrong? Is his head too big?” The curse of motherhood…always worrying, even before you meet your sweet baby. I made a decision right then and there to ignore that comment and to trust the process. My midwife told me if I started to measure abnormally (fundal height) that I could get ultrasounds at that point to check on the baby’s progress, but if all stayed normal then we would just proceed as we normally would. It still took a lot of positive thinking and repetition to keep my mind from freaking out after this. This, however, was also the turning point for me in the pregnancy when I decided “I won’t be scared any further…and I will stop looking for what’s wrong and start enjoying all that is right!”
3. Hire a doula!
— Although my husband has been a total sweetheart and tried his best, there are still some things that husbands just cannot know or be prepared for. My doula, although pricey, has been such a lifesaver. She is experienced, knowledgeable, loving, kindhearted and a killer masseuse. Even though I am still waiting to give birth, it gives me a very warm and comforting feeling to know that both she and my husband will be there to support me. I think it is the “support trifecta” and I couldn’t imagine not having both of them there🙂 She is a great comfort to my husband too! Takes the pressure off of him just a smidgen too😉
4. Take birthing classes with your spouse!
— Not only is this a great way to bond with your spouse over the pregnancy and the impending changes headed your way, it also helps to arm you both with knowledge of the process. Many people think “This is a natural process, why do I need to learn about it?” Knowledge is power people. Knowing how labor starts, what to look for, how to respond, and what is normal and what is abnormal is so great to have in your arsenal of knowledge. Especially for people who get panicky when it comes to pain. Having the knowledge also helps you plan ahead for what you would like your birth to be like. We did the Bradley Method and loved it; however, there are lots of options for people who don’t want to spend 12 weeks learning all the minutiae🙂
5. Don’t fall victim to the “I’m pregnant I can eat whatever I want” belief.
— Don’t get me wrong, I let myself indulge when I wanted to, but I am so thankful that I stuck to my healthy eating habits and workouts. I truly believe that it made pregnancy so much more enjoyable because I felt GOOD. I worked out 5+ days a week, walked the dogs several miles a day, kept lifting weights, swimming and running. Running had to take a back seat at 28 weeks because of pubic bone pain/discomfort, but everything else has remained about the same!
6. Trust the process.
— Pregnancy is a miraculous experience and while it is highly medicalized, publicized and glamorized, it is also a completely natural process. When I think back to everything I did to sustain a healthy pregnancy, I’ve realized that I really didn’t have to “do” much. My body knew what to do and the baby knew what to do…essentially, I just existed, didn’t eat a few “risky foods” and carried on with my normal life. I would have saved myself so much stress and anxiety if I had just trusted the process from the very beginning.
7. Learn to nod and smile.
— When it comes to pregnancy, labor, delivery and child-rearing, EVERYBODY has an opinion. Oh, and EVERYBODY has to share it. For some reason, the women who were most traumatized by pregnancy, et al, really are the ones who love to share. I think it is a method of healing for them, but unfortunately, for many pregnant women it is more scarring than helpful to hear these stories. Pregnancy has been turned into something “scary” rather than beautiful. We proselytize fear and anxiety rather than embracing and celebrating the beauty and the miracle that is pregnancy and motherhood. This is another reason why I think that knowledge is so important for pregnant women…it helps to combat fear when you know the facts and the stats🙂 So when someone starts to tell you their horrific tales of pregnancy, labor and delivery, either stop them and say “Thank you, but I’m only looking for happy and positive stories during my pregnancy” or just turn your brain off, nod and smile. I did the latter because I had a really hard time telling people to politely “shut up”.
I’m sure I could keep writing for days, but these are the things that surface in my mind from the past 41 weeks. What do you have to say about your pregnancy experiences or lessons learned?
Before I get too far into this post, I need to announce our Choffy winner!
Carey at The Butternut Beat
Congratulations! Please email me with your shipping info and I’ll have the Choffy shipped to you.
So, this pregnancy thing…so far, I can’t lie, it has been pretty enjoyable! I’m not eating any particular strict training diet, and in fact I’ve been craving more vegan foods than anything. I have continued working out pretty much the same as I was before, but less jumping/bouncing movements than previously. My energy levels have been OK. And lastly, my mood swings have also been pretty non-existent…give or take a few….here or there…maybe more prevalent recently😉
Weight Gain: about 13 lbs-ish (it tends to go up and down each week)
Cravings: None really, other than healthy food and I really love Greek Yogurt. 2% Fage to be exact.
Aversions: None really. I’m not a huge fan of meat, especially if I have to prepare it myself, but I can do it…just don’t like it much. If someone else cooks it, I’m totally fine.
Movement: Lots and lots of movement! I started feeling slight movements around 15 weeks and it has progressively gotten more frequent and stronger. I can now watch the skin on my stomach protrude when the little one flips around. Pretty crazy seeing as the baby is only 10 oz and about 10 inches long! I can’t imagine what it will be like near the end.
Gender: We found out at 13 weeks what the gender was, and I felt like I knew from about 8 weeks. I was 95% positive of the gender and at 13 weeks I was right! We are having our Anatomy Scan/Fetal Survey tomorrow and will confirm the gender then. Looks like I’ll announce officially next week!
Exercise: Not much has changed. I actually started running more after I found out I was pregnant for fear of losing my running ability. The running is finally starting to become laborious. I start out at a pretty good clip, but after about a mile or so, my legs feel like lead and I just feel HEAVY. I just keep plugging away at it and will do so until I start to feel uncomfortable. The longer I can stay with it, the better it will be in the long run I think.
Baby Prep: Hubby and I are taking Bradley Method classes and are really enjoying them. We are 3 classes in and have 9 left. I should be right around 30 weeks by the time we are done. I think Hubby is learning a lot, and I THINK he likes it? Oh well, if he doesn’t he’s hiding it well😉 Nursery is still empty (except for all of the normal furniture in there that was rearranged) but my first baby shower is happening back in my hometown in a few weeks, so I’m sure the nursery will look more like a nursery after that! Very exciting…it is going to be so cute. Can’t wait. We are also hiring a doula for labor support and I’m pretty excited to start our prenatal sessions…I love massages!
Sleep: Sleep is still fine. I wake up at least 3 times a night to pee, but that is and has been pretty standard for me since…hmm…well, forever. I have the world’s tiniest bladder (not a FACT, but it should be) and so this was to be expected. I have also been waking up nightly at 1AM to go to the bathroom and so that has been weird, because I usually think it is about 5AM and am then thrilled to find out that I have 4.5 hours left of sleep. No insomnia, but definitely waking at similar times nightly.
Exciting Moment for this Week: Seeing my stomach move when the baby moves, and looking forward to the ultrasound tomorrow!
I will do an update on the first trimester as well so I can keep track and read about it at some point down the road! Ever been pregnant? How was your experience?
A friend of mine gave me some Choffy to try for fun, and I jumped at the offer! I’ve always wanted to try it ever since reading it on Tina’s blog and now that I’m pregnant, it is even more appealing. So, down to the nuts and bolts of the product.
Choffy is a low caffeine alternative to coffee and is made from 100% premium roasted cacao beans. It is chock full of antioxidants and a nice trade in for caffeine laden drink. Because it is made from cacao, it has some natural caffeine in it, but it is extremely low by comparison. It essentially has the same amount of caffeine as a chocolate bar.
I did not feel that Choffy provided a pick-me-up, but rather a serious dose of relaxation and sleepiness. It has become a perfect bedtime drink. It is also fun to make because you can use a French Press. The ritual of making Choffy has become very soothing in itself. Hubby LOVES Choffy and drinks it even more than I do🙂
As far as taste goes, I would say that it is subtle, almost like watered down coffee? But the smell is completely intoxicating. It smells like drinking chocolate!
– Choffy is pretty tasty and a nice caffeine “free” alternative
– Choffy is good to help with relaxation and sleep! At least for me it works🙂
– Choffy is chock full of antioxidants…good stuff
– Choffy is NOT readily available anywhere. You must buy it online from a distributor.
– Choffy operates like a pyramid structured sales company, similar to Avon, Mary Kay or doTERRA. This sometimes makes it difficult to know whether or not the project is actually as good as they say it is or whether or not you’re being upsold. Unfortunately, you have to try it for yourself to make that decision!
– It is a little pricy, but if you drink it sparingly then it is a nice treat to have on hand.
As a nice treat for one of my lucky readers, my friends who sell Choffy are hosting a giveaway through my blog! You could win your own free bag to try for yourself🙂 Just be sure you do the following:
– Leave a comment about which Choffy variety you want to try! Be sure to visit the website to read about them.
– Post about this giveaway on either Facebook, Twitter or another blog with “Check out the awesome Choffy giveaway over at http://www.glutenfreemuse.com!”
– Be sure you enter by Friday, June 13th!
Have you ever tried Choffy? Do you drink coffee or standard amounts of caffeine while pregnant? **Note, I don’t think there is anything wrong with drinking caffeine while pregnant, but I’ve been nervous to drink a full cup of caffeinated coffee! I’m just looking to hear how different people handle different aspects of pregnancy. We all have our methods, and none are right or wrong (except for excessive alcohol consumption and drug usage…I draw the line there!!!)**